Usain Bolt Appreciation Society

All Praise Due To Usain

All Praise Due To Usain

This organization is devoted to the man who has made child’s play of international sprinting, most recently cruising across the finsih line while obliterating the world record and winning a gold medal. He could have run faster, but realized its way more impressive to make a joke of the competition.

To be eligible for membership to the Usain Bolt Appreciation Society, one must simply speak words of praise in the comments, or express a sufficient amount of awe towards the god child.

Fuck This Guy

Fuck This Guy

You also must swear to make Bob Costas your number one enemy. That cracka ass cracka made it his personal mission to tell America Bolt did not conduct himself like an Olympic champion because he was celebrating before the race was over. But who the fuck is Bob Costas, except a sad, middle-aged goof trying exert cultural hegemony over the black man and attach unnecessary significance to the act of running 100 meters. Amiright?!

And when Usain jogs to victory in the 200m finals, the Usain Bolt Appreciation Society can begin its quest for world domination.

So the question is — are you Usain Bolt Appreciation Society material, or just another tard like Bob Costas?

Add comment 19. August .2008

Skateboarding Comes To Uganda

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Idi Amin.

from current.com posted with vodpod

Add comment 3. March .2008

Video: The Onion’s Take on Darfur and Liberal America


The recent surge of African “philanthropy” by middle class Americans (read: white suburbanites) leaves me conflicted. It’s hard to knock people for expanding their interests beyond their own issues; realizing that some fucked up things are going on in the Big A. However, their support of faux-liberal entities such as Starbucks, (RED) and Bono in place of active political involvement makes me want to go Huey Newton on their asses (NEWSFLASH: These assholes are the new Sally Struthers — Sally Struthers 2.0 for those fluent in Bloggish). The Onion News Network captures this sentiment perfectly with their roundtable satire. [The Onion]

Add comment 22. November .2007

Ambiguously Racist Encounters: Meth Heads at the Mall

jspunch.jpg
Preface: I’m back at my parents house this weekend in this shithole, which happens to have one of the highest rates of crystal meth use per capita.

So I was walking through the mall parking lot today en route to get my geek on at Game Stop (yes, I’m aware this almost disqualifies me from mocking others), when a patron who was clearly white refuse (of the non-recyclable variety) asked me if I knew anyone who sold crystal meth. After I gave her the number of my dealer told her I had no such hookup, she complimented me on my hair and was on her way. (more…)

Add comment 6. October .2007

R Kelly – “Real Talk Behind The Scenes” (Video)

How R. Kelly went from semi-sleezy sex icon, to inspirational singer, to a delusional sex offender I will never know. But then again, I ‘m here still linking to pop culture gems like this. If there was ever a figurehead for the emerging “black trash” class, it would be Kells. [TAN]

Add comment 5. October .2007

30 Rock Season Premiere: Did a Korean Person Die?

tracy-morgan-1.jpg

After watching tonight’s 30 Rock, I’ve decided Tracy Jordan is one of TV’s great characters. [Zap2it]

Add comment 5. October .2007

Emmett Till Family Recieves Apology From Tallahatchie County

till250.jpg52 years after the death of fourteen-year-old Emmett Till, his family receives a formal apology from the county in which he was murdered. Frankly, I’m relieved this happened. Any longer and I would have said they apologized too late. [NPR]

Add comment 4. October .2007


 

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